Knowing what you know now...

Well over ten years ago a parishioner was in my office and she said to me "knowing what you know now, would you still have done this?" This referred to being ordained in the church and becoming a parish priest.  This kind and gentle soul asked the question on an ordination anniversary and since it had been a relatively good day, perhaps even a good week, the answer was easy.  This was followed by a longer discussion on a much deeper level.  This was not a flippant question, it was asked from deep care of concern and it deserved no less conversation and thought.  Our conversation was definitely an interesting one.

All these years later the question occasionally creeps back in and I have to think about it again.  The lady left me with an incredible piece to ponder with her concern and care as she posed this question.  So you may be thinking what was the answer or what is the answer?

Most of the time, in fact, the majority of the time, I am happy with the decision to follow the call into ministry.  The role is challenging, diverse and no two days are ever completely the same.  There are days of great fun and joy other days it is in short supply.  The joy and hope are infused in amongst a variety of other emotions.  You can run the gamut in a day.

There is the honour bestowed by a person allowing you to be a part of the important stages of their lives from births to deaths (both celebrations of different sorts).  the joy of good news and the despair over bad news.  Quite simply it can be quite a roller coaster ride.  But would I change anything - No definitely not. I carry secrets, confessions, burdens that others unload. Conversely, there are the joys celebrations, love and treasured memories of people whose lives I have been honoured to share and touch as well as been touched by.

So would I change that?  No!  The trust and the journey is too great an honour to be lost because of the occasional bad or "hard" day.  So knowing what I know now, all these years later my answer would still be that I would do it all over again.